I know it may sound cheesy to some, but the most important relationship in my life is the one I have with God. And it is a romantic one.
I remember several years ago reading The Sacred Romance. Talk about rocking my world. The concept of God being head-over-heels in love with me made me super uncomfortable at first. But I started seeing that after all He’s brought me through and all He’s rescued me from, it really must be true. And lately I’ve come to realize that my life depends on it.
One of my tendencies in the past (before Aaron) was to seek attention and approval from just about every guy I knew. (For those of you who knew me then, I apologize!) I wasn’t exactly interested in a relationship with them, I just needed to know I was desirable. Worth someone’s time and attention. Not as messed up as I thought I was. It took me a long time to consciously realize that this was what was going on. I was looking for affirmation and fulfillment from people who just weren’t equipped to do it. Because honestly, no human is equipped to fulfill the aching need we have for approval, to answer our deepest questions about ourselves. That can come only from a transcendent source. From the One who put the need there in the first place.
It was only after I abandoned the extremely high importance I placed on being married that I truly reached a point of healing in which I could say, “I am deeply loved, fully accepted and pleasing.” And wouldn’t you know that after a season of living in this aloneness with God as my lover, that He brought Aaron back into my life. (Yes, there’s quite a story there. We’ll save that for another post.)
Some other books that really helped me along the way: Captivating (in my mind, required reading for every woman in the world and any man that wants to understand them better); Wild at Heart (required reading for every man in the world and any woman that wants to understand them better); Redeeming Love; and the Psalms.
“The Lord your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will bring you quietness with His love. He will delight in you with shouts of joy” (Zeph. 3:17, HCSB).