Last night I fell apart.
I spent about 40 minutes doing the ugly cry, on the verge of what felt like a nervous break down. My sweet 11-month-old son tried every trick in his book to get me to laugh, finally settling for wiping at my tears and giving me kisses. My husband said soothing words and stroked my tear-soaked hair back. And I just sobbed on.
There is a. lot. going on in my life right now. We’ve been in our new hometown in the Pacific Northwest looking for a place to live this week, and tomorrow is pretty much the last day we have to nail things down. We’ve measured every piece of furniture we own so we know how much we can fit in a new place, gotten estimates on how much it will cost to move stuff here, and are working through what all we could just sell or give away instead. We’re selling our house. We’re figuring out how to get vehicles across the country and timing the packing/arrival of the truck with our one-way flights. We’re working on re-homing our two precious dogs, who have been our “fur babies” for the past 8+ years. Our son has been teething and had a stomach bug the first part of the week, which meant several rounds of throwing up (on me, of course) in the middle of the night and no sleep. Friday we have another long day of travel and are praying we all make it through without catching another bug. The logistics and challenges of moving 2500 miles away never end. We have two weeks left before the move, so I’m trying to finish my time in Nashville well, hug as many of our friends as possible, eat at all my favorite restaurants, and oh yeah, write a book.
All this to say… in the aftermath of my mess I’m going to tell you a bit about my book and the community of authors called InScribed that I’m so honored to be a part of. I hope this post is more coherent than I feel right now! (UPDATE: check out the giveaway at the end!)
Much of my life I have struggled with depression, hating myself, and being afraid of God. Several years ago, thanks to my first official mentor, I started discovering that instead of living in fear and wanting to be someone else, I could actually be confident in knowing that God loves me. It sounds so simple… but it has really been a long journey for me to accept the fact that because I’m in Christ, God sees me so differently than I often see myself. When He looks at me, He doesn’t see my mistakes or the times I’ve doubted Him or the things I wish were different about myself. He sees Jesus covering me, molding and rearranging me to be more like Him as I allow Him to saturate more and more of my life.
All this is what has prompted me to write Inseparable: Who I Am, Was, and Will Be in Christ. I have a hunch that I’m not alone in the search for who I am and what I’m worth to God. There are some really exciting things throughout Scripture that have come to life for me and helped me see myself through His eyes–an identity that has been mine since the day I became His, even though it took me a while to grow into it. An identity that transcends space and time and other people’s opinions. An identity that is challenging yet also very practical. What does it mean to be “in Christ” and for Him to be in us? If the God who spoke the universe into existence is living in me, what does that mean for my everyday life? I hope this interactive Bible study will encourage us all to become more of who God has already made us.
But no matter what comes, we will always taste victory through Him who loved us. For I have every confidence that nothing—not death, life, heavenly messengers, dark spirits, the present, the future, spiritual powers, height, depth, nor any created thing—can come between us and the love of God revealed in the Anointed, Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39, The Voice)
Now about the author community! God has brought together a group of amazing women who are intensely following Jesus and living out the Word. Together we are InScribed, a unique author community sharing our hearts for Bible study because we believe in the power of God’s Word. I am humbled to get to serve alongside such incredible women, to laugh with them, to cry with them, to grow with them. Here’s a little taste of our group:
GIVEAWAY! Leave a comment on this post and tomorrow I will choose a random winner of a limited edition InScribed pendant necklace, made by Lisa Leonard!
Stay focused; do not lose site of mercy and truth; engrave them on a pendant, and hang it around your neck; meditate on them so they are written upon your heart. Proverbs 3:3 (The Voice)
InScribed: leading women to not just survive but thrive, encouraging them to immerse themselves in the person of Jesus Christ.